habitual excellence

'when virtue has slept, it will arise all the more vigorous'.

"Genuine honesty, assuming that this is our virtue and we cannot get rid of it, we free spirits – well then, we will want to work on it with all the love and malice at our disposal, and not get tired of ‘perfecting’ ourselves in our virtue, the only one we have left: may its glory come to rest like a gilded, blue evening glow of mockery over this aging culture and its dull and dismal seriousness!" Nietzsche, Beyond Good and Evil

That's all the heady material I have at my disposal today. It started off right, with an extremely strong cappuccino complete with a beautiful ratio of espresso to milk to froth. I outdid myself really. Yes, this trip to a Parisian cafe, courtesy yours truly. Okay, I can't take complete credit, Capresso was my crutch towards caffeinated divinity.

What am I reading right now? Apocalypse 2012. I went to the book store, in search of the perfect book. I've tired of the late 19th century classics. I'm not sure how this happened. I did a binge and purge? I am no longer interested in subtlety? All of those books say that society was SHOCKED by the lascivious nature of the book.....and I enjoy that. There's really no mention of sex, or seduction in them. But somehow these people smarter than me, even without the perfect cappuccino were able to pick up on these innuendos and emerge from it with mouth agape. "My! I do say." Maybe I just spent too many days in college picking my clothes off the floor of various gentleman's bedrooms. Just kidding dad.

Anyways, back to the imminent doom of if not 90% of the world's population, at least the Northern Hemisphere. I don't know. This book written by someone I've never heard of before, who has a myspace profile, and all of his "friends" are skanky, scantily clad females, (but I don't know, maybe they're selling cell phones or something), is pretty good. The scientific research is pretty thorough, and he does touch base on many factors that could lead to a rebirth of our civilization, including what is considered scientific fact as well as questionable prophecies and what have you.

I say bring it on. I'm kind of bored. Emerson said that all we need lies within us. I mean, sure. Yes, I believe that. But I also think that maybe our souls or the fibers of our beings and the cells as parts of this universe also react to fluctuating natural changes. It's sort of like how a woman's special time is in sync with the phases of the moon. Maybe our bodies CRAVE change and readjustment towards harmony with nature.

But I really don't care about all of that. I think it's time for the world to see some change. Mother Nature should kick some ass. Time for the Northern Hemisphere to be shrouded in a volcanic winter that results in the next ice age. I'm frightened and curious to see the reaction of humans during the inevitable crisis. I might start placing bets. GW is in a rocket in about 30 seconds. To wherever. Whatever strong hold they reserve for idiots.

In short...this is FASCINATING to me. And we have greatly underestimated our connection to the universe. I think that the flux between the sun and ourselves and the earth's naturally occurring processes are all interrelated, as perhaps scientists have known all a long. A sun storm encourages storms on earth, fluctuations in temperatures and radiation from the sun affects the earth as though it were a living being.

But anyways, I'm starting to sound like I'm on an acid trip, so I'm going to drop it. The high point of all of this of course is the fact that everything that seems petty or annoying is diminished somewhat. As I deal with people at work, and clients that come in with various "problems." They always have a problem, because they can afford to have problems. I just think to myself, It's okay, because the super volcano is going to erupt, or we are going to be pelted by waves of radiation from the sun, consequence an X45 sun storm. Which by the way, has only happened once in history, and if it had been directly aimed at us, there would have been some sizzling and frying.

At which point...those living off of the land will probably survive. And the rest of us, distracted and misguided by all the extra shit will be useless.

You may want to rethink how you treat hispanic delivery men, because there's a good chance you'll be asking Juan if you can stay at his grandparent's house in South America.

Speaking of hispanic men. This morning I was waiting for the bus and I saw the old man I see every day. He's always whistling some creepy little tune, and he always stops in front of me to say hello. So this morning, he walks past again, says hello, and then comes back for another round to which it proceeds as follows:

Old man: "I sorry to interrupt your reading."

Me: "That's okay."

Old man: "But I love you."

Me: "uhhhh. Thank you" (Which is my usual reply to that statement).

Old man: "Maybe you love me too?"

Me: "Um, Maybe" (Trying to be polite).

Old man: "I come to see you every morning. I come back tomorrow morning to see you."

Me: (Thinking to myself), Time to rearrange my schedule.

I can't WAIT to be dismembered in his basement. Hopefully, the sun's velocity increases before 2012, before he finds out where I live.

That's all for today.

Much love and apocalypse.

hatin in 08

In lieu of a promised dedication to a very special friend, I'm going to be writing in observance of the holiday season, before the New Years tidings have long expired and it gets weird.

This post also in observance of my totally self-pitying, shitty mood tonight. It all began with getting out of bed. Rain was falling outside, you could hear it on the window sill, and the bedroom was shrouded in that perfect light that encourages sleep, or at least a lazy day in bed.

I contemplated "taking a personal day," but alas, I am up to my shit in shitty shit momentarily, not to be alleviated for several days.

Not even Hillary Clinton can solve this. It takes more than a village to raise my spirits Hill. By the way...her "choke up?" I can't even come to terms with it. Cannot. Were we all duped New Hampshire? What we need is a, "Political Campaign Tactics for Idiots" book to be published.

But I digress. What I really want to talk about is my hates for 2008, reflecting on 2007. Well, I will throw in some loves, but my sour mood won't allow for the happiness quota this evening.

Here we go:

1. Dear hipster girl that waits for the bus with me every morning. Stop staring at the rest of us in condescension and pity for our mediocre, conformist lifestyles. I get it. You listen to a band with the word dinosaur in its title, and the bassist dresses up like a robot! You still shop at Urban Outfitters, now go make me a latte.

2. People that melodramatically express their distaste with smokers. The hand wave in front of the face, the scrunched up expression of disgust, the pathetic "cough, cough." You're cramping my style.

3. Academics that over use the word "convoluted." Your use of the word convoluted is making me want to convolute you and shit.

4. Girls. Ladies. Bitches. Stop taking that girl group picture that you all take that looks exactly the same, consists of the same people, in which you all have the same expressions. We get it. You're wild and wacky! A quirky crazy bunch that lives for crazy girl power awesomeness and pictures where you're doing crazy wacky stuff that only you would do!! Can you at least be entertaining and wear shirts that detail the stds that each of you has?

5. Vampires. I still like them. Where are they?

6. Dear B61 bus. It is obviously VERY over between us.

7. John Mayer. I don't understand you. Perhaps I never will.

8. Harry Schwartz. I think that's your name. You're the president, director, master henchman, owner, general or whatever it is they call you of Starbucks. You made your employees work on Christmas Eve...and Christmas. My barista crush and I discussed this at length, for several days. He's the only reason I go to Starbucks. He says that it's 21st century slavery. And he's black, so he knows what he's talking about. Dear Mr. Schwartz. You're kind of an asshole to me now, while previously I had at least respected the fact that you provided good health insurance to your employees. I can't even imagine the type of person that goes to Starbucks on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. I bet they are all douchebags, dipshits, and assholes.

9. SIGH. Why do you go to a bookstore to talk on your damn cell phone? I am not in the poetry section to listen to your conversation to your friend about the date you went on, and how you're going to go to dinner again, and how he was gently chiding you in a flirtatious way about you were in his neighborhood and didn't even call him. First of all....maybe you didn't call him because he's a douchebag, but probably not because you just said you were going on another date with him...which is a big mistake. His oh so coy! tactic of making you feel like you were missed is boring to me. I'm done with him. You should find someone new.

10. Dear champion coffee. I love you. Your baristas are nice and slightly hipster but not in that obnoxious way. Also, one of you is from Wisconsin, and I can respect that. Your coffee really makes me feel better. The only person I don't like that works there is the curly haired guy that I heard arguing with the owner of the liquor store about wanting to return his already opened and half consumed bottle of wine. You are either exceptionally rude and deceitful, or just really dumb.

11. I love my bitches. Dear bitches near and far, you make my life complete. You are not feminine to a degree that makes me want to slice and dice you. If you are feminine, you are still reasonable. Despite your tendency towards appreciating blood, gore, death, hatred (that means you nichole), and general distaste for humanity, I know that you are good people that have my back no matter what.

12. Crap television, smut internet "research." I'm lumping this into one lovable category. I love crap TV, kitschy websites and really hilarious websites that don't mean to be. I love you. You are like a circle to me, no beginning and no end. I want people to stop saying, "kill your tv." There is a lot to learn. I promise. As long as you know that it's this crazy fun fantasy land of bull shit that brain washes people. Kudos to you Fox News. You make me laugh.

13. godhatesfags.com I hate you. I loathe you. I am sort of ashamed that you make me hate. But at the same time, it feels kind of funny to me. The antithesis of what any sort of higher power would teach is exactly what you are. Congrats. Thumbs up. Keep on a keepin.

14. This is sort of an ongoing pet peeve. Grammar nazis. Okay, if you're working on your thesis or dissertation....yes, it's time to call it out. Don't get me wrong, I'm just as off put when someone mistakes your for you're or its for it's or whatever. But give me a fucking break. You're not a Pulitzer prize winner. Get over yourself.

15. Swearing. I love it. Fill that swear jar up with quarters and dollars please. There is nothing like a swear word to really add a period to the end of a sentence or just...well, extend a lovely fuck you and fuck yourself and fuck it and .... It's almost as good as Vampires.

16. Dearest darling jobby job. You put wrinkles on my face this year. You've probably grayed my hairs, but I wouldn't know it, because it's been too many shades of pink to black to purple since 1999. I owe a premature death to you and the landmark.

17. Home sweet home. I don't want to leave your confines. Why would I go out there?

18. Karma. I believe in you. I can't wait for you to deliver the bitch slap x10 to those that need it.

19. Champagne. I love you. I want you now.

That's all I have for now. I may need to continue later. I have cocktails to concoct and voo doo dolls to stab.