Today I was walking down the street, on my way to work, bypassing the usual Champion coffee stop for a latte to help fuel my trek across the bridge. Before getting to my observation, I shall lamely digress....the reason I walk the extra 15 minutes across the bridge is because I hate the bus. I loathe the B61, and anyone that knows me well, has been tortured by my texts and soliloquies expounding upon the loathsome nature of the f'ing B61. I hate it, and it hates me back. We share the same mutual negligence with one another. So, I will brave the windy torrent and constant barrage of honking that defines the bridge I walk across, (name to be withheld to discourage stalking), primarily to avoid the bus.
I hate you:
You are like this:
Minus the:
Plus this:
Edna St. Vincent Millay is quoted as saying, "I love humanity, I just hate people." I personally subscribe to this stance because I wonder consistently why people are so stupid and predictable, and I'm sure that I'm also guilty of being stupid and predictable. So...as of late, I've been avoiding all contact with people, or at least not partaking in conversation, OR simply relying upon a gamut of ridiculous statements to keep things interesting. The guilt I feel for hating people is nothing in comparison to the pain I experience while being around them. But this way, I do not have to struggle with the constant existential paradox of myself versus everyone else, and can instead selfishly indulge in my own hateful observations.
So, as I was walking this morning I saw this guy that had this blue jacket on with faux fur trim:
It was somewhat shorter than this one, and the faux fur was black. The dude wearing the jacket had on black pants and black shoes. He also had on those large ear muff head phones. He had a shaggy black short beard, black hair, and large black rimmed glasses. If this sounds familiar, it's because....it is. The term "Hipster" may come to mind, but this is one example of several differing varieties. This is probably the much more subtle toned personality of hipsters, and there's a good chance he still listens to cassette tapes.
He is like the guy on the right:
Minus the:
Plus the:
Plus the:
The end.
Tomorrow's edition:
Type A personalities: On the list of "things to do before I die," getting ostracized by Jensville shall be one of them.
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