The Three D's

Bush: "I love me some white folk!"

This evening, I was pondering the self proclaimed "three D's" those being: Denny's, Douchebags, and Dipshits. I was thinking about how I'd really enjoy sitting at a Denny's restaurant for an entire night or entire day, indulging in several cups of watered down coffee while surrounded by truck drivers, crass waitstaff and drunkards. (Maybe there should be four D's). Awhile back, I wrote a "rant" about New York City, inspired by my hatred for its coffee shops. If indeed you can actually define them by what we traditionally consider a coffee shop; a place where one can read, relax, drink coffee, work...et cetera. Coffee shops in New York should actually be incorporated into the modern version of Dante's Inferno, quite possibly as the previously unknown 10th ring of hell. Okay, so let's blame Manhattan, rather than the entire state of New York, or just the city. But I will list the factors that equate to fire and brimstone as follows:

Please leave these at home:

And get off your:

You are not a:

I would also like to ask a favor. Stop talking like this:

PS: We all can recognize by your attire that you are neato, and secretly know that you're very important! Now go get em sport! But refrain from inciting visions of the below in my head. I know something is going on there, I'm not sure what it is, and I don't really care either. KthxBYE!

This all leads me to my aforementioned promise in Chapter 1 that I would begin to discuss type A personalities and this of course is intrinsically linked with the elements of the Four D's. Oh shit, it was three. Okay, Drunkards makes an unofficial Four. To refresh, Denny's, Douchebags and Dipshits plus an additional Drunkard equals four. I was thinking that there is a large divergence in personalities on the East Coast to those anywhere else. I think that Manhattan specifically has an asshole magnet, or at least, when one crosses the city line, a huge stick is inserted up one's ass. This eventually leads to therapy. Of course, the habit of the Type A personality or Dipshit, or Douchebag is to talk about, (using various avenues of expression), how necessary it is to have them around, or in the Manhattan case...how the nature of the dipshittery and Type A-ology is an extraordinary facet of their ability to "survive," and achieve "greatness" in a sea of greatness.

Summary: I am specialer than you are!

Which brings me full circle back to Denny's and how I would much rather be seated at an establishment surrounded by drunkards and fuckups, versus being immersed in a steaming pile of overwrought shit-headery simultaneously listening to screaming babies or mothers offering their overly indulged 3 year old an unending list of suggestions from the ol' starbucks buffet.

You make me feel like this:

The Type A personality is a rather interesting phenomenon, as they are a contradictory concoction of low self esteem or fear of imagination coupled with extreme behaviors and "impressive" activities used to occupy themselves with thoughts of how splediforous they are.

Here they are, hanging out at the lodge in Vermont. He is probably talking about this awesome merger:

Or he is talking about how he did this, last weekend, not realizing that he should be talking to his therapist about how he cannot comprehend the void of our existence:

I'm just throwing this one in for amusement. I don't necessarily consider this a Type A personality example. I just think it's funny, and I hate crotch rockets. WHY oh WHY would you invent something that displays the ass crack of anyone prominently meanwhile drawing attention to it because of that sound barrier breaking ear-drum bursting buzz sawing music making that rips through the universe when one of these asshats decides they need to pump the gas in hopes that everyone in a 5 block radius runs from their homes and exclaims, "WOW! A MOTHERFUCKING CROTCHROCKET MOM, DAD, AUNT JUDY! IT'S FUCKING AWESOME!! I NEED TO BE ON THAT! OH BUT WAIT, I CAN'T EVEN SEE IT, IT'S GONE SO FAST!!"

On that note, I'm going to sign off. Next chapter will focus on more lighthearted issues, like abortion.

Title: LOVE SURGE